A lot of people haven’t. It’s okay. It wasn’t what you needed or knew how to do at the time. You, and only you, decide who you want and need to tell and when. 

Seems like you’re thinking about starting now instead, even if just with a therapist. You don’t have to keep doing this alone. As soon as you’re ready, therapy is here.

That makes you really, really normal. A lot of well-meaning people have strong and vocal opinions about whether or not a survivor should report. What I know is that most survivors, when left to their own devices, make the choice that was best for them and their needs, and that’s all they needed to do. 

Reporting - criminally, to Title IX, or elsewhere - is an incredibly personal and vulnerable choice. It is also by no means easy to go through an entire criminal court proceeding, Title IX process, or restorative justice. It is a complicated decision, and many survivors rethink their choice once or twice, regardless of whether they decide to report or not. You will have feelings and maybe even some doubt about your choice either way, but wherever you land is okay. You did what you knew was best for you.

Whether you decided to report or not, I can help you feel grounded in those choices, connect to what you know you need for your own healing, and process whatever feelings come up in the aftermath.

You’re not alone. Almost every survivor I’ve ever sat with has had a similar thought. Many survivors struggle with guilt, shame, and self-blame, especially when they don’t yet understand their natural trauma responses and how their brain and body were working to keep them safe in surviving the assault. Feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame are often trying to protect you and help you feel like you had more control than you did during a sexual assault. More often than not, understanding why you made the choices you did and responded in the ways that you responded will help you to know that those feelings of self-blame aren’t grounded in truth. They are your brain trying to calm and protect you until you can make better sense of things. Helping release feelings of guilt, shame, and self-blame is often one of the core benefits of therapy for sexual assault survivors.

No, not by any means. Forgiveness is an incredibly personal choice, especially after sexual assault. Some survivors never choose to explore forgiveness. For those who do, it is often coming from a recognition of their own personal needs and a desire to release anger or other things they are holding that they know aren’t theirs to carry. If forgiveness is important to you to explore in therapy, or if the idea arises for you internally and surprises you, I’ll support you in finding where you want and need to land. If forgiveness is something you don’t want to touch with a ten foot pole, that’s just fine, too. You have my support either way.

Healing from trauma often takes longer than we want it to. We just want it to be over already and back to our lives. Your timeline will look unique to you. With good support, many people start to see relief of acute trauma symptoms (like sleep disruption, appetite loss, emotional volatility, feeling jumpy or startling easily, feeling nauseous, etc.) within a month after an assault. Many people also start to feel some initial relief of symptoms within the first few therapy sessions. Longer-term processing really depends on your individual needs and pacing as well as how deep or far you want to go. Many survivors of sexual assault choose to continue in therapy for a year or more after an assault, desiring support through both short-term and long-term stages of trauma healing. The first year is full of a lot of unknowns and firsts, including the first anniversary of the assault, and many survivors find they need or want support throughout that year and beyond. 

Eventually, most survivors in therapy find that they are feeling well enough, confident enough, and like life has returned to them in a way that they feel ready to end therapy. The goal of therapy is to eventually not need it anymore, however long it takes to get there, and a good therapist will honor that with you, too.

It’s also not uncommon to return to therapy as you re-process trauma in a different life stage or event. For example, some survivors return to therapy when they’re ready to start dating again. Sometimes a new, unexpected trigger comes up, like learning something overwhelming about the person who assaulted you or experiencing a separate difficult life event. Sometimes even happy life milestones - getting married, having kids - can bring up trauma in a different way. It’s not that this experience will continue to run your life, but it is normal, even in “full healing”, to have new things come up related to the assault that make you want to return to therapy for a bit.

Whatever stage you’re in, therapy can take as long as it needs, and a good therapist will also celebrate you when you’re ready to launch and try things on your own for a while. Trust in the timing of your own process, even if it’s slower than you want it to be.

I help clients heal from trauma and old relational patterns through collaborative talk therapy that integrates the mind, body, and nervous system. I use a whole-person approach that helps you feel safe, understood, and in control. Together, we’ll combine traditional talk therapy with body-based grounding and a deep look at past experiences, helping you untangle old patterns and reconnect with yourself at a pace that feels right for you.

In clinical speak: I practice holistic, trauma-informed therapy that blends humanistic depth psychology with an attachment lens and somatic healing. I organize around three core pillars: humanistic relationship (person-centered and attachment-focused), depth psychology (exploring past patterns), and somatic integration (body- and nature-based healing). Though trained and further informed by structured modalities like EMDR and Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT), I specialize in relational, insight-oriented talk therapy to support deeper, long-term processing.

I’m fully trained in EMDR, but it’s not an approach I typically use with clients. I’m more effective with other modalities, and truthfully, there are other, more specialized EMDR practitioners in our area than me.

While EMDR is a great tool for some, it can feel highly clinical and structured, which sometimes minimizes the human connection in the room. I’ve also found that, once they learn how EMDR actually works, many clients prefer traditional talk therapy anyway. I believe the relationship between us is where the real healing happens, so my focus lies there. My approach is much more conversational, insight-oriented, and flowing. If you’re set on doing EMDR, I’m happy to point you toward local colleagues who specialize in it. But if you came looking for trauma healing and are open to a more holistic, conversational space, feel free to reach out.